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everything all at once

by things not worth fixing

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1.
i still remember when we'd stay up til 3 am messaging each other talking about bullshit now i can't even bare to look in your eyes or even say your name the shirt i gave you probably smells like cigarettes and alcohol by now or maybe you threw it out you always told me to slow my words down so you could understand me but maybe you didn't understand what pain i was trying to explain half of my summer consisted of sadness and cigarettes thanks to you i know what you did to me because i was there on the other side of the wall while you were with the guy you didn't know, i was sitting at the fire being warmed by it and not you
2.
i laid in my bed and stared at my ceiling and thought about my friends suicide and how short life is and that we could all die at any given moment whether it be where we kill ourselves, someone kills us or something else beyond our capabilities destroys us. it's comforting and uncomforting at the same time laying in this bed where we kissed for the first time, where you slept with me, where we spent two weeks together. i sometimes feel my chest collapse under the weight of knowing how deeply in love i am with you and i promise i say that as a good thing. things were better with you in my presence. my heart felt like it was beating faster every time i looked at you. every freckle on your face was like a star that built up the universe i was looking at. it's comforting and uncomforting at the same time laying in this bed where we kissed for the first time, where you slept with me, where we spent two weeks together. i sometimes feel my chest collapse under the weight of knowing how deeply in love i am with you and i promise i say that as a good thing.
3.
i could’ve sworn i heard u mumble goodbye under your breath while i laid my head down to rest i thought there was much more than this i thought i could give u one last kiss
4.
3:15 am 01:23

about

s/o to sawyer and zack for being on the cover of this
s/o to my real life / internet pals for liking the stuff i make

credits

released April 11, 2016

all songs written and recorded by josh allen

license

all rights reserved

tags

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